Winter In DC

Expecting the first substantial snow fall of the year, resulting in 600,000 commuters freaking out. Cars will be strewn across the roads in burning heaps. Metro riders will rapidly degenerate into Morlock mobs, snuffling in the dark for rats.

Stores will be full of grown women kneeling before empty milk chillers, wailing and gnashing their teeth like supplicants before the altar of some pagan god of Fine Dairy Products. Men will fight over the last roll of toilet paper like mead-drunk Vikings, uttering savage cries of victory and defeat. Fragments of bread will litter bakery aisles around the District, shrapnel from Wonder Bread cluster bomb units (another fine General Dynamics product).

Paralysis will hit the city. All order will collapse. Mayor Fenty will be seen clinging to the skids of the last Huey out of downtown. Congressmen will band together (bi-partisan at last), using their superior numbers to trap, kill and eat the Senate. Obama will retreat to the White House nuke bunker, sending Michelle out to lead squads of Marines to loot the local Trader Joe's for cases of salt-free, organic salsa.

Ah, Winter in DC :-)